Leading in the Darkness

By Tidia, September 2007

Beta: Ridley C. James

Rating: Let's say teen

Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from Supernatural or its characters.

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Chapter 5/6

"I remember, you know, I was 14, and we spent the summer in Idaho." Sam commented.

They were driving to the Pittsburgh Buddhist Center, recently opened and willing to talk to anyone about Buddhist teachings. Dean gave a half shrug, his hands on the steering wheel. He interpreted Sam's statement as an apology. Dean had been so jumpy then, and used the time in Idaho to regain his confidence in his ability to protect Sam. "Dad and I holed up with them for a month while you were in school. Best place to get some weapons, and work out the kinks."

"And Adam?" Sam asked.

Dean shook his head. "Moved on."

Sam was pensive for a moment. "Yeah, but anyway, that case with Vince Eder-you left me with Dad after he got hurt." Sam said, interrupting the low tones of the local rock station Dean had found during Sam's momentary silence.

The older Winchester brother remained matter-of-fact. "Seemed like a good idea. It was only a weekend hunt. You had to get back to school, and Dad just wasn't in any condition to finish it up." All true statements. Looking back Dean could see it was his selfishness, his neediness to prove himself and his worth to his family.

Sam rubbed his chin. "How come you didn't tell Dad or me about the deal?"

Dean hated to entertain his brother's questions, one led to another, and he had to put a stop to it. "You were a kid, and there really wasn't much Dad could do about it except hold it over my head. I learned that lesson already, didn't need a repeat." The shrtiga had proven that, punishment was better than disappointed silence. "It was just about me." He was surprised Sam was berating him about keeping another secret, too caught up in his own supposed dark destiny. Dean changed the topic back to the case. "So what do you know about this Shirley Maclaine stuff?"

Sam sighed. "Past lives, you mean…Shirley Maclaine? Do you even know who she is?"

"Some old chick that's into that stuff." Dean grinned. He knew enough, but in his experience Sam felt important by educating.

"Yeah, well, I pulled some stuff from the net. According to Buddha we carry our unfinished business, unlearned lessons, and unresolved thoughts with us from life to life."

"Damn, I'm screwed." And he honestly meant it. If he believed in an afterlife or religion then he would have issues, because in this life there would never be any resolution. But, being Dean he had to make a joke out of the situation, to lighten the seriousness. "Like I was Arnold Schwazenger in another life?"

"He's not dead."

"Charlton Heston?" Dean mentioned the NRA supporter he admired, well, actually his father had admired every time they bought a new gun.

"He's alive too."

Dean ignored his brother. He knew Charlton Heston was still alive.

They pulled right in front of the Buddhist Center. Dean laughed when he saw the auto dealership across the street. The location didn't seem appropriate for a place which was offering enlightenment.

They walked in and were greeted by a bald headed, orange robed monk. Dean didn't catch the name, too long and complicated to remember for a one time only meeting. The center itself was very peaceful, and although he usually found incense overwhelming and cloying, in this situation it was restful. The monk gave them a tour, which Dean assumed would take only ten minutes. The Center was small, a few rooms, but the monk walked slow and ten minutes ticked by before they even started walking.

Sam took minuscule steps, not using even a quarter of his stride. Sam also bent over to ask the shorter monk questions. Dean stayed back, trying to control his snickering.

"What happens when a person dies?"

The monk patiently answered the question. "The death of a person destroys the physical body. However, the person's intelligence energy or mind is destined to be reborn based on Karma."

They paused at one room, decorated with paintings by children. The monk explained this was used by some parents when they wanted to seek some solitary time.

Dean found it an appropriate opportunity to ask his question. "And how do you explain," he whistled and smiled. He didn't want to shock the monk by actually using the word sex, "and babies?" Dean pointed to the pictures. He was confused by what the monk had just said—did Buddhist have sex or children? What was the need if there was this energy that found a body to takeover?

Again, the monk was unfazed. "Conception begins with a man and a woman. That is the seed of life. To my understanding, the intelligence energy of the mind uses this physical seed to grow. Imagine a radio. When we switch a radio, a signal is received from far away. No physical connection is observed. This is the concept of energy. So upon ones death, his or her intelligence energy select a proper place for rebirth based on karma."

Dean remembered seeing his mom at the old house in Lawrence, and how she had appeared physically, but also manifested an energy. There was probably a particle of truth in the beliefs of the Buddhist. There was probably some bit of truth in all religions, just not enough for Dean to subscribe to any one of them. "Wait, so a person has to die, and then this energy goes into a newborn?"

"In a way, yes, one dies before the rebirth into a newly created person." The monk replied.

Dean caught his brother's attention. This was important, and Dean began to think it over. But, what was more interesting for Dean was the lack of reaction from the monk. Dean relished a challenge; Dean was going to fluster the monk. Sam interrupted his musings.

"And what is nirvana?"

The monk was serene as he explained, sharing the Buddhist's supreme secret of life. "Nirvana is the cessation of the rebirth process. Once we remove all attachments to everything, there is no reason to be reborn. This is the attainment of Nirvana."

Dean didn’t know how this lesson in nirvana was helpful. They needed to know how Vince Eder, someone evil could be reincarnated. "What about de-incarnation?" He asked as the stopped in the hallway, looking at some painting.

"I don't know what you mean."

Dean smiled. He had reached his goal very quickly, the monk seemed tense. He had confused the monk. "Like possession, an evil spirit being reborn?"

It took the monk a moment to answer, and regain his tranquil expression. "The evil spirit is a grudge of the dead. The grudge needs to be cleansed for easy passage." The monk moved the tour on to a room at the end of the hall.

"How would we know that someone carries grudges, or is carrying bad karma with them?" Sam asked as he bent over again. Every time he asked a question he looked like he was bowing, as if he was going to start a sparring session with a karate master.

The monk stopped, the tour coming to its conclusion at room with a white marble Buddha. "Call it by its real name. If it responds then you have identified the origin of evil."

"One more thing," Dean added, poking his head in the room. By the statute were candles and incense sticks inserted into trays of sand. "Is there any way you can write down the exact ceremony that is used to exorcise the spirit?"

They reached the car with Sam still looking in disbelief at the concise directions written by the monk. "Dude, 'can you write down the exact ceremony?'"

Dean shrugged. "He did, didn't he? And I didn't have to do that funny bowing you were doing. Sometimes, Sammy, you have to be honest. .."

"I was not bowing. I was trying to show respect." Sam stated as he entered the passenger side of the Impala. "Hey, can we grab something to eat? Maybe try to figure out a plan?"

Dean's head was starting to ache a bit, but he rather be out than laying in a bed. "That'd be good." He scratched the back of his head where Sam had patched him up. "Remember that movie with Keanu Reeves, and this monk finds these three kids that he believes is the reincarnation of this other monk?"

Sam shook his head. "No, not really. I would figure the only Keanu Reeves movie you would know are Speed and The Matrix."

"Yeah, those were good, this movie wasn't." Dean said as he pulled away from the parking space. "But these kids ended up showing traits of this dead lama. Three kids. I am thinking about what that monk told us-someone has to die first to be reborn into a baby."

"This came from a movie?" Sam seemed skeptical.

Dean shook his head, his brother could be so single minded. "Yeah, not everything is in a book. I needed to learn about religion, and had some downtime." The downtime being when Sam was at school, and Dean didn’t have his trusty geek boy. "We got Christianity covered so-"

"Don't tell me you watched Yentl for Judaism?" Sam snickered.

He remembered the obscure movie about Orthodox Jews. "Nope, A Stranger Among Us with Melanie Griffith."

Sam rubbed his chin. "So, wait, then Vince Eder has to be reincarnated in someone who was a baby or just conceived when he died."

"How old would you say Father Martin is?" Dean asked with a smile.

"Late twenties. I can look it up when we get back to the motel." Sam smiled too. "Now, we just need a plan."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "I have a plan."

"I'm not yelling the name, Vince Eder over a loud speaker at the church." Sam commented with a smirk.

Dean didn't reply. That was Plan B. Plan A was better.

They pulled into a small diner, a retro looking place with 50's era silver siding on the outside. There seemed to be a constant flow, even for late lunch. Regulars talking to each other, and the people behind the counter didn't give them a second look. They took a small booth, and both decided on the meatloaf.

'Kill the boy.'

Dean winced, and rubbed a hand over his mouth. "I think I lost my appetite."

"What?" Sam asked as he drank the glass of water the waitress had placed on the table.

"Voice in my head." Dean folded his arms and placed his head to rest upon them for a minute.

Dean heard the glass returned to the table. Sam cleared his throat. "Here." He heard something slide across the table.

Dean looked up saw the pain killers he had taken earlier in their golden bottle. He knew his brother was worried, but he had no inclination to hurt anyone, and had not heard any voice since this morning

They decided to have the meatloaf packed up so they could return to the motel and look up Father Martin's birth date.

Dean ate his meatloaf on the bed with the Styrofoam tray on his lap. Sam intermittently took bites, and tapped keys on his laptop. "I got it. It's gotta be Father Martin."

"Then I have the plan." Dean outlined his plan to his brother, feeling better since the painkillers also seemed to silence the voice as a blessed side effect.

They headed to the church as part of Dean's plan.

Yellow tape surrounded the front entrance of the chapel, but the police had long since left. Dean and Sam cut through the tape and entered. The church was quiet, except for a strange gurgling noise coming from the back.

Dean took a step forward to investigate, but then relaxed as Jimmy came in, something in his hand which he was twisting around while he made a sputtering sound.

"Hey Jimmy, your mom know you're here?" Dean greeted the little boy. He generally liked kids, liked it when Sam was one, and more malleable.

Jimmy nodded with buoyancy. "Yeah, she said it was okay and I had to come right back." He lifted the white toy in the air to show Dean. "You need room to fly airplanes."

Dean placed the plane in his hand pretending to study it, then handed it back.

"This is a DC-10. It's really big." Jimmy put his arms out wide. "I have a 747-"

"You're really into planes." Sam commented.

"My grandpa used to be a pilot." Jimmy again started his imaginary plane flying game.

"Cool," Dean replied. But, it wasn't. The kid needed to be into cars not planes. However, Jimmy's appearance was an unexpected opportunity. "Jimmy, when you play in the church do you ever see anything strange?"

Jimmy shrugged, but Dean pressed forward. He knew he was lacking finesse, but it wasn't like a kid would notice. "Hear anything? Even it you think it is just in your head?"

Jimmy shook his head, and began the sputtering noises.

"Nice try," Sam commented, and the brothers followed the boy out as escorts.

They made sure Jimmy returned to his mother, who was in the rectory. They were about to leave, since they had completed the first part of their job when Father Gomes found them by the door.

"Gentlemen. I am surprised to see you here. We appreciated your assistance, but it does seem the culprit was found."

They were being dismissed, and Dean smiled his retort through grinding teeth. "The police are saying they haven’t found the objects. . ."

The priest placed a hand on Sam's shoulder as to escort them out. "I am sure they will. Faith, and have a good trip back to Philadelphia."

"Thank you." Sam gestured with his neck to the door.

Dean picked up his brother's blatant hint. "Okay, well, good luck with everything."

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July, 1996. Saint Marie, Idaho

Sundays were an issue. Church was a requirement amongst the militia. John had not brought them up in any religion. Reading the Bible was a job necessity, not a manual on life. But, they had to respect their hosts so they attended church, sitting on benches under a makeshift tent.

They fanned themselves with the King James Bibles placed under their seats. Dean would use the time to flirt with the girls wearing their Sunday best. The Winchester version of Sunday best was their jeans, a wife beater and a button down shirt over the undershirt.

Sam tried to pay attention during the service. There were two readings and then the homily. Somehow the preacher, a former military man who found God, twisted everything to propaganda their way of life.

"In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus tells the story of a man who has two sons. The younger demands his share of his inheritance while his father is still living, and goes off to a distant country where he wastes his substance with riotous living, and eventually has to take work as a swine herder. There he comes to his senses, and determines to return home and throw himself on his father's mercy. But when he returns home, his father greets him with open arms, and hardly gives him a chance to express his repentance; he kills a fatted calf to celebrate his return. The older brother becomes jealous at the favored treatment of his faithless brother and upset at the lack of reward for his own faithfulness. But the father responds:

Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found."

And Sam glanced around and saw the murmuring of agreement. He didn't know what they were agreeing with that the younger son came back or the older son stayed.

The preacher seemed to be looking at Sam as he went through his homily. Sam fidgeted, Dean kept looking at Tracy.

"The younger son recognized the error of his ways and returned. He received his father's forgiveness. And the older son, he will be rewarded too for his steadfast obedience."

Sam understood. If you left the compound, came back to your senses and returned, then you were accepted again. They wanted the people who left to come back. There would be no punishment.

Sam decided if he left hunting, then he wouldn’t go back. Maybe visit Dean or Dean could visit him and they could go on a vacation. He looked at Dean, but his brother was focused elsewhere, making the most of their situation.

Finally, they were dismissed from church, and everyone filed out congratulating the preacher on a good sermon.

Dean went to speak to Tracy, while Sam hung out with Adam and the others from school. Sunday was a day of rest, and they were already making plans to head out into the woods and do some hiking.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Dean, still taller than him, but Sam knew he was gaining. His brother had a wide grin. "Tracy invited us over for lunch."

Sam told his friends he would meet up with them after lunch. Dean's flirting skills did have its benefits. They were always invited to Sunday lunch.

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