Conversations

By Ridley C. James & Tidia


Disclaimer: Nothing Supernatural belongs to us.

A/N: The first part of this is in Sam’s pov. It is not necessarily what we believe. Takes place at the end of episode 4.21, slight spoilers.


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Chapter 10 - No Place To Stay

"When The Levee Breaks"

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break,
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?
If you're goin' down South
They go no work to do,
If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago...

Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down....

-Led Zeppelin

Sam closed the hotel room door behind him, determined never to look back. He’d done it with his father and Dean’s lack of trust made it all the more easier. Lilith was his priority now. Catching up with Ruby to take the final step was his only mission. Like his mother said: Dean didn’t understand. He would never understand.

“Look what I found slithering out the front door.” The voice stopped him cold. Caleb stood in the hallway; Ruby held out with the Dragon’s Talon pressed against her throat. A trickle of red ran down her neck and Sam’s mouth watered. “She’s not the formidable opponent she usually is. I guess donating a couple of pints has left her a little more human.”

“He caught me off guard,” Ruby explained.

“Dean called you, and you came running back from Hawaii.” Sam wasn’t surprised. It was just like his brother to go crying to Caleb.

Caleb's face relaxed into a mock innocence. “Deuce didn’t call me. He doesn’t know I’m here.”

Sam could still read the lie. Caleb had made his choice weeks ago. “You got a bad feeling? A vision? About Dean or me?" He stepped closer to Caleb and Ruby.

“You tried to kill your brother.”

“God, this is so rich. You two were made for each other. You’re concerned about Dean. He worries about you." Sam said it in a singsong voice, which had Ruby smiling. He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "Where the hell were you when I was suffering through hours and hours of torture? Where was that great sympathetic link to The Triad then? Did you feel any of it, or does The Knight thing only work for The Guardian?”

Sam gave him credit, Caleb actually looked stricken. His voice breaking was the perfect touch. “I can’t sense you anymore, Sammy, and it has nothing to do with The Triad.” He gave Ruby a hard shake. “It’s because of what this bitch has done to you.”

“So the demon blood has blurred our connection?” Sam laughed, wondering if there was ever any connection to anyone. His life had never been his own, and he was finally taking some control. “That’s funny and damn ironic seeing as how the demon blood makes me your brother more than Dean will ever be. Did you forget your lineage, Damien?”

Caleb pressed the knife deeper into Ruby’s throat, causing her to wince. “She’s fucked with your head, Sam. Feeding you half truths along with her poison. This isn’t you, man. Noah Seaver’s amulet did the same thing to me. I thought I was invincible, that I was right about everything. I saw things clearly and everyone else was off base, but the power blinded me. It was a lie Sam. All of this is a lie.”

“This is different than the amulet." Sam shook his head at Caleb's naiveté. "This isn’t about saving Dean. It’s about saving the world, mankind. It's my destiny.”

“Going dark side is not your destiny. Ruby just wants you to think it is.” Caleb gripped her forearm tighter.

“Sam is the only one who can kill Lilith,” Ruby said. She met Sam’s gaze, gave a slight smile. “He’s stronger than you know.”

“How about you stop talking before I cut off your head," Caleb growled.

Ruby didn’t seem as concerned by the threat. “Sam, we’re wasting time. Get this over with.”

“She has another motive, Runt. We just haven’t put it all together yet. Think about it. The things Rose did to Dean, Boone’s murder, the trap in Wyoming and your little spell as Sleeping Beauty. They are all linked to this bitch.”

This is exactly what Ruby had warned him about, how things could be twisted to seem bad in a certain light, just like his abilities. “This isn’t about Ruby! This is about me, about who I am.”

Caleb frowned. “You don’t think I know who you are? Shit, looking at you is like looking in a damn funhouse mirror sometimes. All the doubts, worries I’ve ever had about myself over the years…the fear that I’d turn on the people I love. Maybe it’s why I couldn’t see what you were doing...”

Sam recalled their earlier meeting after the gig with the magicians. “I tried to talk to you about this before. I wanted you on my side.”

“So I could what? Join you in a demon cocktail?"

Ruby was working her free hand up to the knife. “Sam is going to stop Lilith.”

Caleb pulled her hair back, ceasing her motion. “You, don’t talk to me.”

"I had to get away." They were the same words he used when he had gone to Stanford. "Dean didn't want me in the fight." These were words Caleb could understand, hadn't Dean done the same to Caleb before.

“He doesn't want you to get hurt. He's worried about you," Caleb said softly.

Sam's anger flared, taking in a copious amount of demon blood at one time had made his mood erratic. It was the excuse he was using about leaving his brother injured in the motel room. "He should worry for himself. Like I said he came back weak."

"You keep saying he's weak. But has he done anything to show you that he is weak? Because I sure as hell don't see it. Maybe he came back as the guy who is supposed to do the job."

"Because he is a righteous man? He can't stomach the job anymore." Ever since Dean came back from Hell it was one excuse after another without Dean embracing his duty.

"He's not reckless," Caleb explained.

Sam snorted. "But that's what we need. A leap of faith—you know all about faith." He used to think they were so much alike, both he and Caleb less skeptical, more worldly than Dean. Now Sam saw how limiting faith was. It was all invested in Dean.

“I have faith in us, in The Brotherhood.”

"Faith in The Triad?" Ruby snickered. She seemed bored by Caleb's immobility. "Rose and I trapped you by using The Triad. Do you remember that?"

"Yep, and I still remember how Dean gutted your girlfriend."

Her eyes flashed black.

"I still remember what your girl did to Dean. What those drugs did to him. You were in on it," Caleb whispered in her ear, but it was loud enough for Sam to hear.

"You don't remember that I tried to help when Sam asked me to?" Ruby puckered her lips. "Rose wasn't in my back pocket. She had her own life. She was independent, adventurous. I thought that was something that you looked for in a girl?" Ruby's eyes met Sam's and they were the warm brown he expected. "Look, I'm sorry I hurt Josh. Sam forgave me. Rose promised me she wasn't going to hurt anyone. But Rose is dead. I made a mistake. I've been trying to make up for it by helping Sam, saving him. I can help you, too, save you from all those insecurities about your demon side." She shifted her eyes to give Caleb a sideways glance.

"Who says I have insecurities?"

Sam knew Caleb was bluffing. He had just admitted he worried about turning on his friends and family.

"Are you worried that Dean won't like you anymore if you use your abilities to their full capacity, like Sammy?"

"Nothing can change the fact that Dean and Sam are brothers," Caleb retorted.

"My brotherhood status has strings." Sam was so tired of the same old argument. They were also wasting time. Lilith was getting away while they were having a circular conversation.

“Don’t you see what she’s doing?” Caleb continued. “I sure as hell understand it now, and I’m going to do everything I can to fix it. Whatever hold she has over you ends now.”

“I can’t let you do that.” Sam lifted his hand. The Dragon’s Talon was jerked from Ruby’s throat and pried from Caleb’s grip. The Knight was thrown against the wall, pinned with his feet dangling above the floor. “I need someone on my side.”

“She is not on your side, Sam!” Caleb struggled against the hold. “Arrhhh! You don’t know what you’re doing. The Brotherhood could be what we need to stop all of this. We have to work together.”

Caleb was struggling against the hold, also trying to invade Sam's mind, which he easilyhe easily blocked. “Again with The Triad?” Sam said. “You always come back to that.”

“It’s because I have an obligation and so do you.”

Ruby rolled her eyes. “The Brotherhood puts you at a disadvantage. You have no idea how your positions can be used against you.”

Sam glanced at the silver band still on his hand. He slid it free, felt the weight of his old life disappearing as he tossed it against the wall below Caleb's feet. “I quit.”

“This isn’t the kind of job you can turn a resignation in and walk away! You knew that when you took that ring from Dean, when you accepted your position as Scholar. Triads aren’t disbanded that easily.”

“There’s always a way out,” Ruby said as she bent down and retrieved the blade that had been against her throat. She stepped to Caleb, tracing a The Triad symbol over his stomach before angling the blade towards his heart. “Circles can be broken.”

"Ruby," Sam warned her to back off. “I don't need The Brotherhood. It isn’t holding me back anymore."

“No, but The Knight can still offer us something.” Ruby lifted the knife, stabbing Caleb in the leg. Caleb cried out at the sudden onslaught. “Who’s weakened by their human side now?”

Sam moved forward. “Ruby. Stop.” He saw the shiny redness that winked at him on the blade as Ruby pulled it from Caleb.

“Remember what I said about you needing more than I can give you? This will work.” Sam watched as she ran her fingers over the blade, Caleb’s blood pooling between her digits. “Why not go straight to the source?”

Sam’s heart pounded in his ears. Sweat broke out on his face as the scent reached him. The call was undeniable as his body recognized what was being offered. “No.” This was Caleb, not some demon.

“Azazeal’s blood, Sam.” Ruby wasn’t deterred. “He’s a source. You don’t have to kill him. We’ll just take what you need.” She brushed against Sam, pressing her fingers to her lips before kissing Sam. He couldn’t stop himself. Sam closed his eyes and took her offering. “It’s for the greater good,” she whispered.

“Sammy…” Caleb’s voice had him opening his eyes, stepping away from Ruby. The older hunter’s features registered both his physical pain and the betrayal. “Don’t do this.”

Sam looked at Ruby. He rubbed the back of his hand over his mouth, the taste of power still tingling on his tongue, teasing him with the possibility. She smiled and lifted her hand.

“Give me the flask.”

RcJ & Ti

The touch was warm on his skin, the voice insistent he wake up. Dean blinked, hoping he was caught up in another Hell nightmare. The aches and pains in his body definitely gave the thought credibility. Caleb’s face slowly swam into focus. “Damien?”

“Look at me, Deuce.” Caleb’s hand moved from his face to his shoulder. “Do you know where you are?”

Dean’s throat burned. “Is a bikini clad beach in Hawaii out of the fucking question?”

Caleb snorted. “Afraid so.”

“Then my next guess would be Sam and Ruby’s honeymoon suite.” Dean wanted to gag. It was like being caught up in Sam's dream world when he realized that Ruby was playing the role of Sam's wife.

“Not all bad news. The happy couple’s gone.”

“Yeah.” Dean lifted a hand to his head feeling the dried blood where his skull had impacted with the vanity mirror. “I got that much before succumbing to the concussion.”

“I ran into them on their way out.” Caleb gripped his arm. “You okay?”

“Sammy tried to kill me.” Dean thought that would explain it all.

Caleb nodded. “Let’s get you up?”

Dean wasn’t sure if getting vertical was a good idea, but he couldn’t lay on the floor forever. There was the apocalypse and all. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Easy.” Caleb stopped once he made it to what passed as a sitting position, brushing at shards of glass stuck to his coat. “Take it slow, Tiger.”

Dean wrapped an arm around his ribs, closing his eyes to keep the nausea at bay. Slow was good. “You try to stop them?”

Caleb pulled him the rest of the way up, maneuvering them out of the rubble. “Try is an interesting word.”

Dean wavered, leaning into his friend to regain his equilibrium. Everything hurt, including his pride. “According to your buddy Yoda, there is no try.”

“Funny you should say that.” Caleb kept a hand on him as he walked them towards the bed. “I’m definitely feeling the Obi Wan thing today, the young Obi from the prequels, the one Anakin screwed over.”

Dean swallowed, wincing as his friend helped him to sit down. He tried to coax some levity into his voice. “I’m getting a little bit of the Abel vibe myself. How did Cain do away with his brother again?”

“Bible doesn’t really say.” Caleb’s fingers brushed against his throat where Sam had tried to strangle him. “Do you need a doctor?"

Dean blinked away the burning in his eyes. “No.” He shook his head. “I’m okay.” They didn’t have time for him to be otherwise.

“Yeah.” Caleb let his hand drop. “You look it.”

“Do you need an ER run?” Dean hadn’t missed his friend’s pinched features, pale face. He zeroed in on the way Caleb struggled to help him up, favoring his right leg where he could now see blood stains and a makeshift bandage. Dean wasn’t sure he wanted to know what had happened, but couldn’t overlook the obvious injury. “You’re bleeding.”

“I unwillingly gave to the cause.”

Dean gaze traveled from the wound on Caleb’s thigh up to his friend’s face. “What?”

“Thanks to dear old great grand dad, apparently my blood is the China white of demon juice. Go figure.”

Dean felt bile rise to the back of his throat as the implication sank in. “Sam…”

“No.” Caleb reached for his duffle, dug inside for the first aid kit. “Ruby tapped me like a frat party keg.”

“That bitch is dead.” She would already have been gone if Sam hadn’t stopped him. “I’m going to have her head on a platter.”

“Don’t sweat it.” Caleb shrugged. “I’m down a pint or so, but nothing a cookie and some juice won’t fix.”

“That’s not funny.” Dean watched his friend as he unpacked peroxide and butterfly bandages, purposefully avoiding his gaze. Joking was a coping technique they both used, but Caleb’s overzealous attempts were unsettling. “Nothing about this is fucking funny, Damien.” Sam had betrayed them.

Caleb soaked a bandage, dabbed it against the the wound on Dean’s forehead. “I hear you and Cas are an item again, that the angels have plans for you.”

Dean winced, forced himself to hold still. He figured if he let Caleb do this, then Caleb would let him look at his leg wound. “You talked to Bobby?”

Caleb nodded. “I called him as soon as I got stateside. He told me where you were headed.”

“The angels made my deal with the Crossroad Demon look like a health club contract. Only thing missing was Castiel laying a wet slobbery one on me.”

“That could come back to bite you in the ass.”

“Yeah.” Dean wondered how and by whom Castiel had been re-indoctrinated. Dean wished he had found out more about Uriel's faction. “Not really counting on any Michael Landon moves from good old Cas.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t count him out yet.”

“Did Bobby tell you the part where they were no help at all with Sam?” Dean looked up at his friend. “I don’t trust the angels, Damien.”

“Dude, if you can’t trust God’s army, who the hell can you trust?”

He did not know where Caleb's unwavering belief in God came from, because he protested going to Pastor Jim’s church and slept through services he was forced to attend. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t know if I believe in God or if I want to.”

“Sounds like he believes in you.” Caleb raised a brow. “Wasn’t that always Pastor Jim’s point? He could not have been wrong about the whole thing. Something’s not right here. We’re missing some crucial piece of the puzzle.”

Dean wished for Pastor Jim's presence, the man's constancy of character. “Bobby warned me to go easy.” Dean looked to the left where he and Sam had battled. “I don’t think this is what he had in mind.”

Caleb passed him two Tylenols. “Bobby wasn’t here.”

“Good thing. I’m not sure who he would have sided with.” It hurt that Bobby’s words planted more doubts in his mind when Dean already had more than his fair share. “I don’t think I could have held them both off.”

“I don’t think any of us expected the battle lines to cut across home base.”

Dean licked his lips after dry swallowing the tablets. “He wanted to let Sam do his thing, thought that maybe we were holding him back because we loved him too much”

“Bobby can be as much of an ass as John Winchester when it comes to the fight. You know how the demon stuff gets him going.” Caleb rubbed his eyes. “And for the record, you can never love someone too much, Deuce.”

“You sure?” Dean thought back to his sacrifices. “Maybe I was wrong back at Cold Oak. Look what I started, where it’s landed Sam-somewhere a whole of a lot worse than a hunter's funeral.”

“Dude.” Caleb rested a hand on his leg. “No Monday morning quarterbacking, right?”

Dean didn’t acknowledge the fact Caleb wasn’t disagreeing with him. “I just wanted to save him, Damien. I just wanted my brother back, and now I’ve lost him anyway.”

“This isn’t over. As long as we’re still breathing, there’s time to turn it all around.”

The physical harm they had unleashed on one another was the least of their problems. “I told him if he walked out, not to come back.” Dean pressed a hand to his side where a throbbing ache was demanding his attention. “I sounded just like Dad.”

Caleb pulled his hand away, running practiced hands over Dean’s ribs. “You are nothing like your old man.” He frowned, unhappy with the way Dean hissed and jerked beneath his touch. “Sam will come back. You’ll forgive him.”

Dean couldn’t help to hear the accusation in the statement, and the unspoken, ‘even if you shouldn’t’. . “Will you?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Caleb went back to his medical bag, putting away some of the supplies. “It’s the blood. Ruby. It would be like blaming someone who’s possessed.”

“You sure about that?” Dean wanted to believe what Caleb was saying, but the mind and the heart were two very different animals. Caleb was ruled by the later. “Forgiving and forgetting are not the same thing.”

“Goddamnit , Deuce, stop poking me with a stick.” Caleb tossed the bag on the bed beside him. “What the hell do you want me to say?”

"First, sit down; let me check out that leg." Dean got up with a groan, pulled the medical bag towards him. "You’re acting as if this is some run of the mill gig gone astray. This is Sam.”

Caleb took Dean’s vacated spot on the bed. “I’m really trying not to think about the fact Sam attacked Bobby, pissed on The Brotherhood, and stood by and watched while his girlfriend had her fucking way with me. Asking me to talk about him rationally as I piece your ass back together, yet again, is beyond what I can give you at the moment.”

Dean poured the hydrogen peroxide on the wound.

Caleb hissed. "Fuck that hurts."

"Yeah. Tell me about it." Dean was agreeing on a different type of pain. “There’s no going back." He cleared his throat. "This isn't about The Brotherhood. This is you and me here so if you want out, want to change your mind. . ." He would offer the same to Bobby.

“A while back ago, Sam accused me of taking sides, choosing you over him.” Dean listened as he blotted the wound. Either Caleb or Ruby had opened up the pant leg allowing better access. “But the thing is, there never was any choice. Whatever you do, however this fucking plays out, I’ve got your back.”

Dean was relieved even though it was what he expected. ““We have to find him.” A part of him hated the idea of chasing after his brother, but watching out for Sam, even if it was only to protect him from himself, was ingrained. “Can you sense him?”

“No, but I’m hoping Josh might be able to help with that.” Caleb watched Dean thread the needle for stitches.

Dean had not told Mac about Sam's attachment to Ruby, sworn Bobby to secrecy too so that when Sam came to his senses he could return to his old life. As moments passed and things degenerated, it seemed less possible, yet he had to try. “Can we trust him to go along with this?”

Caleb looked up. “Why not?”

“Because aside from the fact Sam attacked Bobby, pissed on The Brotherhood, his best girl is the one that stabbed Josh, then there is the other problem that Josh is our Advisor, and has a duty to The Brotherhood."

"He has a duty to his Triad. We come first." Caleb grunted as Dean made the first stitch. "He'll help, and we'll throw in Ruby as a bonus."

He had to voice the concern. However, Joshua had changed, forsaken his father for them. Dean also felt Joshua respected him, which was more than he got from his own brother these days. "We're going to have to split up. I'll go back to Bobby's, see if he can narrow down Lilith's location." Bobby was one of the Central command stations for The Brotherhood. "You go to Josh's place."

“Only if you promise not to confront Sam on your own.” Caleb waited for Dean to meet his gaze. “It’s not safe.”

Dean lifted a brow. “Same goes for you.”

Caleb nodded. "We'll get him back, Deuce then we'll find the nearest bar and make him buy us drinks."

They both knew there was no such simple solution. As he said, he would forgive Sam, but forgetting would be harder. "Detailing for a year, maybe." He tied the last stitch, placed some antibiotic ointment on the gauze and taped it closed. "You good to go?"

"Are you?" Caleb stood up slowly.

Dean wanted to go home, home to the farm where there was a dog, some brew and peace. But home meant Sam, too, and it was all out of his grasp. Dean clutched Caleb's forearm for closure. This may be the last time he saw his best friend. "Got a date with destiny."

Caleb returned the embrace then pulled him in. "Destiny doesn't mean we end up dead. A year ago you were telling me goodbye, and here we are. . ."

Dean smiled. "And it's still all about me." He'd gone too far or not far enough for a happy ending since Hell seemed to follow him back to earth. "It started with me. It ends with me. That's what the angels say." Dean dropped the grip. "Damien, no matter what happens don't second guess that your destiny is to be a good guy, white hat and all." He patted his friend on the shoulder, headed to the door. It was time to go.

"Deuce?”

“Yeah?”

“Destiny can just as easy be a couple of hot chicks, some cold beer on a beach in Hawaii with your best wing man.”

Dean grinned, needing more than ever to believe that was a possibility. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

Caleb gave a tight nod. “ Same goes for you.”

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