Vengeance is Mine

Chapter 6

Beta: Tidia

"No!" Dean startled awake, searching the area for the latest threat. He was thankful the train car he and Joshua were on was empty as he tried to steady himself. The rumbling of the train was louder without the hordes of passengers.

Dean had not meant to sleep, only resting his eyes for a moment as they made the quick trek from Penn Station to Central Park West and Mac's place. It seemed his exhausted body had other plans.

"Are you alright?" Joshua was sitting across from Dean, the lights from the outside tunnel flashing off and on behind him.

"I'm good." Dean took a shaky breath, trying for reassuring even though he was far from alright.

"Nightmare?" Joshua put away the paper he was reading.

"No." Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth, swallowing the bitter bile at the back of his throat. He wasn't sure what it was- a flash of images. A streak of silver, then snow, stained red. Dean thought he sensed Damien for a moment, like catching a blur out of the corner of your eye. He'd tried to latch on to his friend, but it was like catching a shadow. He felt guilty, and more frightened than he would ever admit.

Joshua must have sensed his foreboding, because he leaned forward, meeting Dean's gaze with a look of resolve. "This new information will get us to them quickly, before tomorrow evening."

"You mean before Beckett executes them." Knowledge was power, but Malachi's revelations were far from comforting. Dean would make Beckett Moreau regret every hour since Sam and Caleb's disappearance.

"We'll be there long before that takes place."

"I've been in this situation before." Dean couldn't help to think of Cold Oak, and the time at The Sinks when Caleb had drown on his watch. "It doesn't always work out the way we hope."

"I've known you to have more successes than failures."

"It only takes one time." If Dean didn't succeed in this mission, all would be lost. "The odds are against us."

"You, Sam and Caleb have never been ones to respect the odds, especially when it comes to your loyalty to and faith in one another. I used to believe that a huge weakness in Jim Murphy's plan. It was irritating, flagrant and careless, but over the years that trait has become somewhat inspiring."

"Right." Dean rolled his eyes at his Advisor's poor attempt at consolation. "Just as your backhanded compliments have become endearing."

"I emailed Mackland while you were resting."Joshua ignored the jab. "Ethan, Elijah and Griffin arrived. Riley and Bradley as well."

"Porter?" The fact the scientist was at the farm only weeks before didn't erase the unease his name conjured. Maybe it was the similarity in situations. After all, Griffin had gone against a Triad and almost succeeded in his mission to destroy not only Jim Murphy, but the Guardian's first choice for future Triad.

"It seems Griffin was in Texas visiting Elijah and Ethan. If you don't want him there I can call Silas and have him removed."

"No." Dean had made the choice to give Griffin his ring back after returning from Hell. He'd exchanged pleasantries with the good doctor at the ceremony, although Damien bristled at the man's audacity to show his face at the after party. Dean had to intervene to keep Damien from taking a swing at Porter. There was no love loss, but Griffin was a member of The Brotherhood. Protocol had to be followed, and honestly they could use all the help they could get if the plan Dean was formulating was to come to fruition. "Did you give Mac Beckett's last name?"

"I did but according to Mac's email, it seems Riley and Bradley had narrowed down the list. Apparently Beckett Moreau went missing a decade ago while on a business trip in New Orleans. He was CEO for a railroad conglomerate based out of Canada. His body was ever found, and the Moreau family has a standing offer of a substantial reward for information about his whereabouts."

"Meaning Beckett was most likely nabbed by a vamp. When he woke up, going back home or contacting relatives wasn't really an option."

"That would definitely be a likely scenario. Riley will fill us in on what he has when we arrive."

"I'm sure Kathleen's thrilled about Riley working with us." Dean empathized with the teen's desire to be a part of The Brotherhood, especially after the boy's father, Boone was murdered. He also understood Riley's mother's feelings about her son following in his father's footsteps to become a hunter. She didn't want to risk what little family she had left.

"It was good fortune on our part that he came home with Bradley from Boston for the winter break. Carolyn mentioned that Kathleen was taking a holiday in wine country with friends. Ellen's death hit very close to home."

Ellen helped Kathleen keep the Boondocks up and running after Boone's death. Ellen and Jo had made the bar a home base of sorts. "If I hadn't said it before, I appreciate Carolyn going to tell Kathleen about Ellen and Jo in person."

"Carolyn grew up in our world. The women of The Brotherhood have always been strong. She understands the unpleasant side of our business."

"You think she'll be so understanding when it's one of your kids who wants to be a part of this business?" Dean realized it seemed like a major shift in topics to Joshua, but to Dean the question held relevance.

"Our stop is next." Joshua acted as if he had not heard Dean's inquiry. He stood, gripping the rail.

"I know you haven't set a date." Dean braced himself as the train slowed, finally coming to a stop. He followed his Advisor out of the car. "But you do plan on having kids, right? Besides the two furry children you already share out of wedlock."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Joshua stepped around a man begging for change and started for the stairs that would lead them to the street above. "Shouldn't we be discussing your plans for Beckett? Time is of the essence."

"This concerns our plans." Dean didn't need reminding about their deadline. He had been turning ideas over in his head before his little unscheduled nap.

"Mine and Carolyn's decision to procreate holds repercussions for your strategy? That doesn't seem likely."

Dean pounded up the stairs waiting for the burst of cold December air. "I'm going to send Bradley and Riley into the field." It would be the first time as Guardian he would send young men into battle. He knew it was likely they may not come back. Jo and Ellen were constant reminders, even if they didn't bare a ring.

"They haven't been training long." Joshua hesitated briefly at the entrance to the street. Despite the late hour, elite Manhattan was still awake, meticulously dressed socialites returning from parties and shows. He waited until a group of people passed before stepping into the steady stream starting for the crosswalk.

"Malachi wasn't wrong about hands on learning having its advantages." Bradley and Riley were rookies, but eager and willing. They had both been helping with research for a while now. Both had trained with Silas on smaller gigs and spent time with Jessup over the past year.

"You'll be giving them their rings then?" Joshua crossed the street that would lead to Mac's building, The Beresford.

"I guess that depends on whether they make it back." Dean matched the other hunter's stride, stuffed his hands in his pocket, huddling against the night air. He wasn't exactly sure how to give a ring, having yet to give one that wasn't already in existence. He would figure it out as he went along, just like everything else.

Joshua stopped abruptly just beyond the entrance to Mackland's building. He looked up at the towers, and the distinctive illuminated finials, sighing as he cut his gaze to Dean, surprise registering in his blue eyes. "I'm not sure what you want me to say."

"You're The Advisor. Advise." Dean brushed past him, nodding to the doorman as he entered one of the three lavish lobbies the building had, all with marble and moldings. Kyle recognized them, giving a brief smile. Joshua might have looked like he belonged in the city's most elegant address, but Dean with his worn jeans and jacket did not. As a kid he'd been mesmerized by the places Mackland and Caleb lived, so unlike the motels and rare apartment he and his brother grew up in. It made him self-conscious later on, but as he grew older he mimicked Caleb's attitude of ambivalence and realized he could fit in like a chameleon.

"The Brotherhood is a legacy." Joshua caught up with him at the elevator, which was Dean's favorite part of the building, and not because he and his brother had once shared a ride in it with Jerry Seinfeld. The brass doors had a dragon crested shield with the motto Fronta Nulla Fides, which meant 'Place No Trust In Appearances'. To Dean it was ironic.

"One you're willingly going to pass down?" Dean stepped onto the elevator, impatiently pushing Mac's number when the brass doors closed too slowly for him. "Even if it means putting your son's life in jeopardy on a regular basis?"

"I can't honestly speak to that because I have no son. But my father had no issue with me becoming a hunter. In fact, he insisted."

"Ditto. But we're not our fathers."

Joshua glanced at him, quickly returning his gaze to the elevator doors. "Hypothetically speaking, if I had a son, and he chose to be a hunter, then I would be honored if you believed him deserving a ring." Joshua did not look his way, his voice taking on a softer tone. "There's no one I would trust more to lead him into battle."

"Thanks." It didn't make Dean's decision to enlist Bradley and Riley any easier, but Dean appreciated that Joshua played along with his 'what if' game.

They left the elevator on Mac's floor, Joshua exiting first. "And just so you know, we did set a date. It's why I was in Washington."

Dean was the one to draw short now. He held his key to Mac's place just above the slide lock. "What happened to the long engagement?"

Joshua looked at him, and Dean didn't need for him to answer. Jo and Ellen had happened. Mac and Esme had happened. The Triad ceremony had worked a certain magic on them all. Then there was the fact that the world just might be ending.

Joshua fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket. "Carolyn has her heart set on a specific location-the place where her grandparents were married. They had an unexpected cancellation for the end of May. Things fell into place."

"I see." Dean grinned, rallying his spirits at the rare good news, and taking a momentary pleasure in Joshua's obvious discomfort at discussing personal issues. He unlocked the door, ushering the other hunter ahead of him. "I'll be sure to clear my calendar."

"Make sure that you do. Carolyn is already preparing a seating chart." Joshua slid out of his jacket. "And you will need to give The Knight time off for necessary fittings, and Sam's services will be required to write a speech for him because I do not wish to hear one of Caleb's prose recited at my reception."

"Damien scored best man?" Dean arched a brow. His best friend was convinced Adam would steal the title away from him. "What about your coven buddy?"

"It isn't like I actually have a choice in the matter." Joshua dropped his black bag on the antique bench in the foyer, unwinding the scarf from around his neck. "Mackland and mother made the decision for me with their surprise nuptials. Caleb would be the obvious candidate; Carolyn believes any other would be in poor form."

"So Carolyn is on Team Caleb?" Dean smirked.

"He's been wooing her from the beginning." Joshua smoothed a hand over his hair. "You know how ridiculous he can be around women."

"It would be easier if you'd just admit you like the guy."

"Please," Joshua scoffed.

"He is your brother, after all." Dean moved down the long corridor. He could hear voices coming from Mac's study. Silas was standing at his post outside the office.

"I would appreciate it if you stop referring to him in that regard." Joshua groaned. "The position of his brother is your cross to bear. I have no interest in taking it over."

"That's good because I'm not giving up the post, Dude." If Joshua noticed the unexpected terseness in Dean's voice he didn't let on. Dean chalked it up to exhaustion. He was lucky enough in this world to have two brothers he loved, one given to him and the other found. Joshua had never been that lucky. Caleb had a chance at the family he always wanted. Dean was pretty certain he wouldn't be able to offer Caleb all the benefits a brother could, like a sister-n-law to fuss over him and nephews to corrupt. "'I'm only willing to share because I can use the back up. Damien can be a handful and I've been pulling double duty for years with him and Sam. "

"You're not promoting your sell."

"That's why you're the PR guy." Dean stopped at the doorway to Mac's office, slapping a hand on Joshua's shoulder. "I'm counting on you to help me make my plan look if not brilliant, at least not completely suicidal."

"But I don't know your plan," Joshua stuttered as Dean set off with purpose towards the group of men.

"Roll with it."

"Rolling with it is not the way I do business." Joshua hissed.

"This will be good practice for our future ventures." Dean knew in the public relations world Joshua insisted on having all the pertinent facts before anyone else. He could spin them in a way so his client came out smelling like roses. His role of Advisor would not be so clear cut and staged.

Dean nodded to Silas and stepped into the room. All eyes zeroed in on him. Ethan and Eli were sitting on the leather sofa. Griffin Porter was in one of the wing back chairs near Mackland's desk. They all stood when Dean entered, even Mackland. Bobby turned his chair so he was facing him. Dean was aggravated by the formality. It was like the president had just stepped in for a press conference. He would have preferred to be at the farm, in The Tomb sitting at the round table where they all had equal attention like Jim used to do. "At ease," he said.

"About time you two made it back." Bobby returned to Mackland's desk, slipping back into more familiar form. "We've been doing all the grunt work while you took your stroll in Central Park."

"It's not like the party can start without us." Dean moved to the mechanic's side. He looked at Ethan, Eli and Porter. "What have you boys come up with?"

"Carolyn has emailed us latest satellite imagery of Traverse City." Mackland reclaimed the seat in front of his computer.

"I cross-referenced it with the data I gathered on Beckett Moreau," Riley quickly added. He and Bradley had set up their own station at the far end of Mackland's desk. The teen kept his eyes on Dean, but gestured to the small laptop in front of him. "Bradley used our new program to pinpoint the locations of possible heightened electromagnetic activity in the area. I mean, I know we're not looking for spirits, but in theory supernatural activity of any sort, even that of magical wards, will draw entities to the area like bugs to a porch light. We got a hit."

"Good work, Indy. Glad you and Bradley the Brain are on our side." Dean gave the college students a thumbs up, not really digesting what the teen was prattling on about, but impressed he'd managed it without taking a breath.

Bradley frowned at the nickname, but Riley emboldened by the praise whipped a piece of paper from Mac's printer and offered it to Dean. "I also printed out a copy of the topographical map of the estate where we now believe Moreau to be staying. Carolyn says you're a more concrete, tactile learner and you do better with visual processing."

Dean shot Joshua a look. "Really?"

Joshua didn't feign apology. "She's used to preparing briefs in their most functional format for agents in the field. It's a sincere effort on her part."

"Hey, Josh, could I get her to start sending my intel tucked in the centerfold of the latest Playboy?" Ethan yawned, stretching so his back popped loudly. "I'm all about visual processing, too."

"That would definitely be conducive to your style of learning," Eli slapped his brother in the gut.

"Carolyn also afforded us a list of available hunters in the area," Griffin spoke up, casting a look of reprimand to his two protégés. "If you would like, I could contact them and arrange a meeting place."

"How many are we looking at?" Dean hadn't even begun to familiarize himself with the other hunters that made up their ranks. In the future, if they had a future, he was going to have to take a page out of Carolyn's book to do his homework.

"At least ten in close proximity that are not involved in strategically important hunts," Griffin reported.

"Good news is Rufus is one of those able bodies." Bobby looked at Joshua. "Bad news is Slick Dick is with him."

"That going to be a problem?" Dean cut his gaze to his Advisor, catching the subtle change in the other hunter's posture. Joshua folded his hands in front of him, his stance no longer relaxed. His face never changed as he met Dean's questioning gaze.

"Harland is good with a long bow and a sword."

Dean nodded to Griffin. "You can bring them all in on the plan when we're done."

"What is the plan?" Mackland leaned back in his chair. "Joshua related our time frame. We need to act quickly."

"The plan is for our boys to attend tomorrow night's vampire lollapalooza as invited guests."

"You want us to infiltrate their forces?" Mackland leaned forward on his desk. "Why not strike during the day when the vampires are at their weakest?"

"The sun doesn't give us enough of an advantage with those kind of numbers, Mac. They may sleep in the day, but they sure as hell aren't defenseless in the daylight." Dean could tell the former Scholar was not pleased with the suggestion by the way the gray in Mac's eyes darkened ever so slightly.

"What kind of chance do we have of pulling off such a task as your suggesting?"

"With Lenore's help we have a good chance." Dean perched himself on the edge of the desk. "Remember the scene in Robin Hood when the Sheriff's going to hang Will Scarlet and Little John's kid?"

"Right," Ethan snapped his fingers, easily latching onto the reference. "You're talking the remake with Kevin Costner. He sneaks his men in with the crowds who come to watch the show, putting them in the perfect position when the fireworks start."

"Robin Hood? Your battle plan is from a movie?" Mac questioned. "You're serious?"

"First off," Bobby started. "What makes you think Lenore's going to pony up to this plan? Didn't you cash in your chips with her for the information she coughed up?"

"She's searching for redemption."

"What are you talking about?" Mackland asked.

"It seems Lenore has a crush on Cas." Dean called the angel the moment they had finished with Malachi, filling him in on his part of the plan. "He paid her another little visit, had some tea, let her poodle sit on his lap and she's willing to go along with my request."

"And what exactly was your request?"

"That she reconsider Beckett Moreau's invitation and take her nest to the festivities. In exchange her nest is granted absolution and protection from The Brotherhood in the future."

"Is Castiel going to be coming here?" Riley whipped out his cell phone. "Because that would be absolutely awesome."

"Cut it out with the paparazzi act, Indy." Dean was glad to see the teen had reclaimed some of his zest since his father's murder, but it was making it more difficult to treat the kid as a perspective hunter. "Cas likes to keep a low profile."

"Sorry." Bradley reached up and snatched his friend's Blackberry. "He has a little bit of a thing for angels, too. He's amassed quite the collection of reports on Castiel."

"I appreciate Castiel's effort and your careful strategic details," Mac said. "But how exactly are you planning to have human hunters blend with a nest of vampires? They may look the same, but they will never pass muster under closer scrutiny."

"Mac's right," Bobby agreed. "We reek of gun oil, pizza, and good old human. They'll smell us before we get within a mile of the place."

"Here's where you come in, Mama's Boy." Dean elbowed Joshua.

Joshua opened his mouth, closed it. "What?"

Dean made a rolling gesture with his hands. "Tell them your part of the plan."

Joshua narrowed his gaze. "I'm sure there is a spell to block your typical hunter's stench."

"Sure, there is." Dean smirked at Bobby. "Magical deodorant. How hard could it be?"

"You're sure that's possible, Joshua?" Mackland said. "It seems like it would be a complicated spell."

"I'll consult with Adam. We can use the vampire's heightened senses against them." Joshua nodded to Dean.

"He can run whatever he comes up with by Castiel," Dean said. "He knows what a vampire should smell like."

"And your objective, Dean?" Mackland's finger was poised pensively at the edge of his eyebrow. "For the infiltration?"

"Our main objective is to secure Sam and Caleb, to get them to safety." Dean lifted his chin, crossing his arms over his chest as he held Mac's gaze.

"And if that objective isn't viable?" Ethan asked. "Not that I'm not all for Plan A, but it's always good to know Plan B and C."

Dean didn't want to allow himself to think of the prospect of Caleb or Sam not making it out of this alive, but Ethan was right in the fact they needed to cover all bases. The recourse was stunningly clear to Dean. "Then we kill everyone."

"That isn't the way Jim would have handled the situation." Mackland slowly stood.

"No it isn't." Dean moved from the corner of the desk, drawing himself up to his full height. Mac had been gung-ho for Dean to take on the job of Guardian, but Dean wondered if the former Scholar had considered all the repercussions of that decision. Mackland was no longer in charge. Dean tilted his head to Griffin standing at the doctor's side. "Obviously I'm more vindictive than Jim Murphy."

"There are people in this world who go about demanding to be killed," Ethan gave his best Vito Corleone imitation. It was obviously an attempt to break the tension, one Dean appreciated.

Dean looked at the detective. "There's always someone ready to oblige them."

"This is not a game, boys. I understand you have your way of doing things, but if you kill Beckett, you run the risk of making him a martyr." Mackland exhaled heavily.

Dean recognizing the flash of disappointment as he swept his gaze to the former Scholar, then to Griffin.

"I believe that was one of Jim's concerns when he spared my life." Griffin didn't seem bothered by bringing up his own plot to thwart The Brotherhood. "Although grateful now, at the time I found it only a confirmation of my old friend's weakness. I believe Dean has the right idea."

"You are not a part of this discussion, Griffin," Mackland said.

"There is no discussion," Dean said. "When I kill Beckett it will give one message and one message only. No one touches The Brotherhood and comes away unscathed."

"So you'll rule by fear?" Mackland's voice rose in anger.

"He kidnapped two-thirds of my Triad." Dean slammed his fist down on the desk. Riley jumped. "He hurt them. If I let that go, next time it may be someone's mother, fiancé, or wife. Do you really want to set that precedent in these times, Mac?"

Mac didn't answer and Dean was once again aware of the eyes on him.

"How many vampires are you expecting there to be at this lynching, Kid?" Bobby broke the tense silence that had fallen over the room.

Dean ran a hand over his mouth. "A hundred. Maybe more."

"Holy crap," Riley said. "That's like twenty to thirty nests. That's historically unprecedented."

"It definitely poses a challenge," Eli added.

"With the ten hunters Griffin is counting, there are only fifteen of us," Ethan said. "No disrespect, Corleone, but those odds suck."

"Seventeen," Dean corrected. "I'm counting Riley and Bradley. That many men armed with the semi-automatic weapons and rounds of exploding dead man's blood shells ought to even things out."

"Really?" Riley's mouth fell open, his face lighting up like he was five and had just caught his first glimpse of Santa at the mall. "We get to go in the field?"

Bradley glanced to Mackland, then Dean. There was a similar, albeit much more restrained excitement, in his blue gaze. "With weapons?"

"I'm sure as hell not going to send you into battle unarmed."

"I'm not sure that is a good idea, Dean," Mackland said.

"No surprise there, Mac. It's not like you like my plan."

Bobby cleared his throat. "We got enough to deal with without a pissing contest between the current and former regimes."

"Where do you and I fit in with this plan?" Mackland took a seat but kept his eyes on Dean. "Joshua will not be able to cloak our faces. We're far too well known."

"Castiel will be getting me inside Beckett's mansion unseen."

"You expect me to sit this one out? Caleb and Samuel could be seriously injured."

"That's why I need you somewhere out of the action." Dean placed the map on the desk in front of Mac, pointing at what possibly was a ridge or bluff. "I want you on the perimeter with Bobby, Griffin, and Jim's old sniper's rifle."

"I can do a lot of damage from up high if I have help. Old school style." Bobby glanced at Mackland. "Especially if we utilize those special solar fluorescent grenades I was telling you about. Lenore will need to know when to get her people out of the way."

"We'll need a couple of more pints of dead man's blood and a stock of nails." Mackland sighed. "I'll send Silas to get the other weapons from the vault."

"And what about the witch assisting Beckett?" Joshua said. "It would be unwise to discount that influence."

"I'm counting on you to take care of your fellow crafter." Dean slapped his Advisor on the back. "You'll be traveling Cas Airways with me."

"And Beckett?" Ethan asked. "What are your orders concerning him?"

"I'm sure Riley has a picture of Moreau. Spread it among our men. I want him brought to me." Dean rubbed a finger over his ring. The strum of energy stemming from the band was now consistent as was the echo of dread ensnarled through his gut. "The vampires traveled a long way to see a public execution. I won't disappoint them."

Sam opened his eyes with an immediate grimace, the pain in his shoulder flaring to life as he tried to focus on keeping his lids open. He couldn't hold back a groan as he attempted to move.

"'bout time you woke up, Runt. This musical chairs version of bouts of unconsciousness is getting old."

Sam relaxed. A touch rested briefly on his hair, cold fingers moving to his neck where he recognized the motions of having his pulse checked. He licked his lips. "Caleb."

"Take it easy. I just got the bleeding stopped." Caleb kept his hand on Sam's chest.

"Where…"

"Back in the cellar." Caleb raised his hands so Sam could see them. The Knight's wrists were bound together with metal wire. "Bastards aren't taking any chances of us escaping this time."

"I liked the chef's room better." Caleb had him laying down with his feet propped up on a cement block.

"Tell me about it. No rats and a much bigger space." Caleb sighed. "It was definitely more tactically advantaged for a rescue. Deuce could be right on top of us and not even know it."

"Why is it when I wake up after you things seem much worse?" Sam squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the room would stop spinning.

"Your amazing Winchester luck." Sam blinked up at the hunter. Caleb had used the remains of his t-shirt and belt for a pressure bandage. He undid the buckle, lifting the folded material to check Sam's shoulder. "Good news is that being a Winchester means your shoulder may hurt like a bitch, but more than likely you'll live. It's my shitty luck that Liam didn't tag your bowling arm."

"Thanks for not making this about you." Sam bit the inside of his cheek, tried to focus on steadying his breathing.

"Deuce says I can make anything about me." Caleb replaced the bandage, lifting Sam up slightly to maneuver the belt into place again. "I'm not sure why that's a bad thing."

"Spoken like a true egomaniac." Sam stifled the groan the jostling elicited, but couldn't control the involuntary stinging of his eyes. He cleared his throat, wishing for the bottle of water they had before. His jeans and shirt still felt damp. He couldn't have been out of it too long.

Caleb patted his arm. "Takes one to know one, Kiddo."

"What time is it?"

"Early morning." Caleb looked towards the stairs. "But I wouldn't get my hopes up for Liam serving us breakfast as our last meal. I'm guessing after our botched escape they leave us here until tonight's big show."

"We screwed up." Sam shifted on the ground. He wondered how much energy it would take to sit up.

"It was a long shot at best. You gave us a chance, and you killed two of the bastards. That's at least something."

"Are you okay?" Sam decided it was worth the chance of being sick to get up off the cold ground and check on his friend. Caleb's voice was off. The glare of the bare bulb overhead cast him a sickly pallor Sam guessed wasn't just a trick of light. They were both in shock, in need of fluids and medical attention.

"I'm sorry as hell."

"That sounds about right." Sam gritted his teeth, taking deep breaths to quell the waves of nausea as he removed his feet from the block. He rolled to his uninjured side.

"Damnit, Sam." Caleb muttered. He reached out and helped Sam to sitting, not letting him go until he was propped against the wall. "Stubborn sonofabitch."

"This wasn't your fault." Sam ignored the grumblings for what it was, worry and frustration.

"I think I came up with that not-so brilliant plan that did nothing but land us in a worse situation. Chalk one up for sitting around twittering our thumbs." Caleb sat beside him.

Bits and pieces from their previous talk flashed through Sam's mind. "Inaction and passivity aren't the Knight's strengths."

"You can say that again." Caleb leaned his head back, keeping his gaze on the ceiling. "But I should know better than to run off halfcocked. I was scared."

Sam was caught off guard by the confession. "Of what?"

Caleb pulled his legs in, resting his arms on his knees. "Not being in control of the situation."

"You controlling?" Sam snorted. "Never."

"It's not funny." Caleb glanced at him again. "This entire situation has brought my shortcoming into painstaking focus. I fucking hate being helpless."

"I would have thought you would be used to it by now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean your visions. You can't control them, you've never have been able to." Nervously Sam started to scrape the heel of his boot on the ground, making an indentation in the floor.

"Good point." Caleb rubbed his eyes. "Maybe that's why I need to control everything else."

"That sounds like something Mac would say."

"Dad has his moments." Caleb shifted his boot to tap Sam's.

Sam stopped grinding his heel. It would do no good anyway except exert energy he did not have. "He would probably tell you not to be so hard on yourself about this. That you were just trying to do what was best for your family. It's all any of us want. Right?"

"I didn't exactly do a bang up job by forcing you to break a promise to Dean."

He thought of all the promises he had broken over the years. It made him think how precious promises were, how difficult they were to keep, even the small ones. "You act like I wasn't even there." Sam felt a tremor of emotion.

Caleb snorted. "Trust me. You made your presence known."

"I could have said no." Sam didn't like the equivalent of a pat on the head. Caleb wasn't the only one who hated feeling out of control. It could have been a psychic trait, the human side combating. He admired the religious, how they could relinquish trust and control into a higher being. "I could have refused to go along with your plan."

"You could have, but I would have just kept pushing harder," Caleb replied.

It grated on Sam, The Knight's determination to take the blame for his actions. "I could have knocked you on your ass."

"Maybe after you drank my blood." Caleb's regarded him with a narrow gaze. "How are you feeling by the way? Any side effects?"

"I made the choice to go along with your plan," Sam growled, ignoring the question. "You don't get to take that away from me."

"I'm not trying to take anything away from you." Caleb rolled his eyes. "I'm trying…"

"To protect me," Sam finished.

"You can get as pissy as you want, but protecting you is in the job description. I'm the oldest."

"That made sense when I was a little kid. I'm twenty-six!" Sam winced as his quaking exasperation had him tensing his shoulders. Adrenaline tapped his reserves; he had to take a breath to hold off the pain.

Caleb sighed. "Then call it The Knight's Prerogative. How are you feeling?"

"I have a headache, some stomach pain, but I don't have a burning desire to rip into your throat." All the symptoms were mild in comparison to when he had gone to Bobby's panic room before being released by Castiel. He did not know if that was a positive or negative sign that his body was adapting better to the blood, or if had something to do with Caleb being a direct link to Azazel.

"That's good to know." Caleb forced a grin. "Maybe my blood is an exception to the rule?"

Sam looked away, his eyes focusing on the stairs in the distance. "Did it even cross your mind that maybe I had my own reasons for agreeing to go along with your plan?"

"What reasons?"

"Like testing myself. I hoped whatever sinister, slithering thing that Azazel brought to life inside me died with Lilith and Ruby." Sam wanted to get up and pace but understood that wasn't a possibility. Again, it was having in his mind that he could not do something, and therefore wanted to do it even more.

"And?" Caleb regarded him without accusation.

"It's still there." Sam's eyes stung, but the reflex had nothing to do with his burning shoulder this time. "Just as strong as it ever was."

Caleb turned his body so he was facing Sam. "I hate to break it to you, but it's probably always going to be there."

Sam turned his head to look at his friend. "How do you live with that?"

"For starters, I try not to look at it as a sinister, slithering thing."

He hadn't thought about offending Caleb's abilities. "I'm sorry. I was being metaphorical and…"

"It's okay." Caleb held his gaze. "Everybody has darkness in them, Runt. Some of us just have potential to use that darkness in a more damning way. We have to keep a better check on it. I hoped that if you were successful in using it for something positive, you might begin to understand that."

"I know as The Scholar I have to use my abilities, but I need to do that on my own terms without you or Dean pushing me in either direction. I can't lose control again, not with Lucifer waiting to leap into my skin." "I wasn't trying to push you to use your abilities, I mean I was…but not for the sake of argument. I was trying to save us."

"I know that, but I've got to learn to trust myself again, to have faith in my judgment. Proving myself to Dean or to you isn't going to do me one damn bit of good if I don't believe I deserve redemption. " Sam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He could feel his strength waning, As much as he hated to abandon Caleb, the call of sleep promised a temporary haven. "I've got to save myself."

"Sitting on the sidelines really isn't one of The Knight's strengths," Caleb lowered his voice, moved his leg so it was against Sam's providing a little more warmth.

"I'm just asking you to hand off the ball more often." Sam forced his eyes open, turning his head so that he could see Caleb. "Not sit out the game."

"So now I'm a ball hog?" Caleb rolled his eyes. "Between you and Deuce my self-esteem is taking a beating."

"Only good can come from that." Sam forced a half smile. "Your ego could use some bruising."

"You can ease up because in case you missed it, Liam has gotten in enough good blows. First he's wearing my coat, then he uses my blade against you. My pride is taking a beating."

Sam tried to blink away the darkness encroaching on his peripheral. Caleb's voice was fading in and out. He swallowed roughly. "I don't think he's finished yet. He'll be the one kicking the chair out from under us at the gallows."

"Not if Dean gets to him first."

"Right. Dean will be here soon." Sam's declaration didn't ring with the confidence he'd hoped. He blamed it on the fact he had to focus all his energy on staying conscious. He felt Caleb move beside him, the older hunter's touch against his throat as he checked his pulse.

"Liam will regret messing with us when Deuce shows." Caleb's hand pressed against his forehead, cool and clammy. "You just have to hang in here with me, Runt. Do you understand? No checking out. I can't explain that to you brother."

"Right." Sam didn't doubt Liam would be sorry. He had to believe he and Caleb would be around to feel vindicated.

'Dean will be here'. Sam could find no energy to speak, but he repeated the silent mantra in his mind, knowing Caleb would hear him. 'He'll come for us.' The Knight would grasp onto their connection, keeping The Scholar anchored with him even as Sam drifted into the world of unknowing.