Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love. ~George Eliot

Riley had called for a medevac helicopter, running repeatedly from outside to inside the house to tell them the estimated time of arrival while also checking to see if he could do anything else. Sam had to hand it to his brother, he was keeping Riley occupied.

They backed away when the EMTs entered and took over. They all knew enough medical jargon to know Joshua was in peril. Although it was usually The Guardian's responsibility to call a hunter's loved ones, Caleb volunteered to go with Joshua and, once they arrived in Casper, call Mac to give him the news. In this case, Caleb had the stronger connection to Esme through Mac.

Sam pushed Riley in with Caleb since he wanted time with his brother, but also because Riley needed to be checked out by a medical professional. That was the justification he provided to himself to assuage his guilt for ditching the teenager.

They watched the helicopter lift off before heading to the Impala. The car felt different without Joshua and Caleb in the backseat providing a running commentary. Sam almost missed the buffer. They had come away from Rose's defeat with losses and gains, but the losses of time and of life were hard to offset. "Think Esme's with Mac?" Sam hoped they were together; getting news over the phone was bad enough, but being alone was worse.

Dean was looking straight ahead, and it would look to others like he was driving normally, but to Sam it was anything but a relaxed stance. Dean turned his head toward Sam. "I hope so. Maybe they can use Cullen's plane to get here faster."

Sam dropped his chin to his chest, the wave of hopelessness overcoming him. Dean was alluding to Joshua not having a lot of time. The bleeding had slowed somewhat, but not enough, and the injured hunter had lost consciousness. Both were not good survival signs. "He was working on a way to help you." Sam sealed his lips to swallow the sob about to escape, the purely selfish one that was about him losing his brother and had nothing to do with Joshua.

"Sam. I …" Dean reached out and grasped his shoulder.

"I think it was our last chance. We used up so much time." Sam lifted his head and brought it against the headrest. Joshua hadn't even offered a solution, only a reprieve.

Sam wanted more of a reaction from his brother. Instead, he got a response from the bigger-than-life Guardian. "It's okay, Sam. I can't blame Josh either — it's not like he asked Ruby to stab him."

"It's my fault. He didn't want to work with her, but I thought it was a good idea." Sam twisted to face his brother. "I didn't know, Dean, I didn't know Rose and Ruby were together." He didn't know why he had believed Ruby after all the chances he had given her. She had instilled the hope of a reformed demon who was willing to help. Everyone deserved second chances, time to prove themselves. He was doing that every day with his tincture of demon blood in his veins. He could be a better person no matter what had marked him.

Dean morphed from Guardian back to big brother in an instant. "Sammy, please, we were all taken in by that wench. Just goes to show ya demons lie, like I always said." Dean jutted his chin. "Josh's gonna be fine, probably be sitting up to tell us everything we did wrong by the time we get there."

Sam couldn't talk; instead he nodded, wishing his brother was right and that Joshua could still help them. A week of time would give them enough time to track down the last minute leads. It would give Sam a week more with his brother.

At Wyoming Medical Center, they were directed to the ICU waiting room. Caleb looked up from his position of his face in his hands and gave away the fact that Joshua was not sitting up in bed at all.

"He crashed once on the ride over here, and then again on the way in the door." Caleb looked up and rested against the green chair.

"Did the doctor come out and talk to you?" Dean asked, crouching down as if talking to a small child.

"No." Caleb motioned to his head with his hand. He had used his abilities, keeping his connection to Joshua open. Sam felt nauseous at the thought of feeling someone slip away. Doing that was taxing and had to be unhealthy for Caleb.

"Damnit, Damien!" Dean reached out and shook Caleb's knee. "Stop it!"

Caleb looked up at Sam. They were alike, and Caleb was probably trying for Sam's understanding, but Sam didn't want to witness a death that up close and personal. He had been in that position much too often.

"I called Mac, and Esme was with him. I gave him the good news first. I could practically see the big smile on my dad's face, the relief that Riley was safe and sound. Then I told him the rest." Caleb wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "He told her about Josh. You know what she's like. She's pretty cool. . . She lost it. I could hear her screaming. It was like something was killing her."

Sam thought Esme was elegant, graceful, and yet very much a mother. He knew what it was like to hear bad news, to lose friends and family. However, he didn't have children, and maybe couldn’t understand that evolution to being a parent with a seriously hurt child. Joshua, no matter his age, would always be her child, her baby. The reaction was warranted and so foreign to them. Sam couldn't recall meeting the mother of any hunter, except for Jo. Ellen had reacted, too, when she had found out her daughter was on a risky hunt, but they had saved Jo from harm. They hadn't saved Joshua.

Dean sat back on the floor, the news of Esme's reaction affecting him, too. He gestured to the two Styrofoam cups. "Where's Riley?"

"I sent him to the cafeteria after he talked to the cops and got checked out." Caleb sat up straighter in the chair.

"The police came? What did he say?" Sam asked as he took a seat across from Caleb.

There was a ghost of a grin from the older hunter. "Got to give him credit. He said we were attacked by crazy squatters — something like Deliverance meets Saw."

Riley was clever. Sam could imagine the frustration of the police officers when the kid handed them a story so outlandish that they accepted it.

As if summoned, Riley appeared from wherever he had holed up in the hospital. He tried to make himself useful by getting them food and magazines; and when that failed he made himself scarce, saying he was going to walk around the building and maybe find a chapel. They hadn't seen him in two hours.

Sam stood up alongside Dean and Caleb when a nurse announced the surgeon would be in to talk to them in a few minutes. Sam started to gnaw on the side of his thumb in anticipation.

"Did you sense anything from her?" Dean directed the question to Caleb.

Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, the nurse doesn't know anything. She's in the dark like the rest of us."

The doctor strode in past the allotted fifteen minutes and took a step back as Caleb and Dean cornered him for as much information as possible. Sam listened intently but still only could make out a few words: cardiac arrest, blood loss, clotting compromised, punctured lung, ventilator, critical condition, next of kin.

Joshua was to be brought to ICU, and again it took two hours of waiting. Riley showed up and asked about the status. Caleb passed along the information and told the young man to find a computer terminal and report back with what he could find out. Riley momentarily protested the legality, but one glare from Dean sent him on his way. Caleb tried Mac, as did Sam, but he was still en route in an airplane so his medical expertise would have to wait.

They raced forward when they saw Joshua being wheeled down the hall. Three nurses surrounded him, holding various beeping and monitoring equipments. They swished through the pneumatic doors, and Dean made to follow but was halted.

"We need to get him situated, and then we'll call you in."

Dean growled, but made no further move. "Better not be fucking two hours."

Sam pulled his brother back into the waiting area and corralled Caleb along with him. They had all been through the routine in ICU with bedside vigils, but never together. When the time came, they were escorted to an open area. This Intensive Care Unit had three beds and one-on-one nursing.

Joshua's nurse was with him, a middle aged blond woman who introduced herself as Alice. "Talk to him. He can hear you."

Sam spared a glance to Dean and Caleb, who always had a quick word handy. They seemed at a loss for words. Sam figured he would get things started. "Your mom's coming."

Caleb cleared his throat. "With my dad, and they want you to be the ring bearer at the wedding. It was either that or maid of honor."

"You know a few pictures with you in a tux will go a long way with Carmine. Could be our ace in the hole," Dean added.

There was some forced laughter, which died off. They shifted uncomfortably in the room, then turned as there was a commotion. They moved out of the room to greet Mac and Esme.

Mac was barking orders to the nurses, his hand firmly grasping Esme's hand. Sam thought it looked like Mac was grounding her. She looked different than when he saw her just a few days ago. She looked smaller. The scarf wrapped around her head tied around her neck, and the dark oversized sunglasses kept her contained.

Dean reached out to her. "He wanted you to know —"

She cut him off with a tight nod and pulled her hand from Mac's clasp. The doctor tried to grasp it again, but Esme was fumbling for something in her bag. She stepped forward towards Joshua's room. "Boys, block the room for a moment, please."

They pulled the curtain around Joshua's bed to give Esme some privacy. Sam waited for Esme to say something, anything to her son, but he heard nothing. He peeked through the pale blue curtain out of curiosity.

She had pulled the scarf from her hair, and the sunglasses had been removed, too. Sam hadn't made any noise, but she looked up from placing a patch on Joshua's foot. There was already one on the other foot. "This will draw out the poison."

She covered her son's feet again with the stiff sheet, then kissed his forehead before waving Sam away.

"She's all set," Sam announced, and they went to join Mac at the nurse's station. The nurse seemed glad for their interference and went to look in on her patient.

Mac gestured to Joshua's room. "We should allow them some privacy. His doctor is coming up."

"Do you want to see Riley?" Sam suggested, since Mac hadn't asked about him.

Mac shook his head. "He greeted us at the entrance and is now with his mother. Kathleen flew in with us. They are catching up. "

"The kid did good out there," Caleb commented, rubbing a hand against his chin. "Dad, about Josh. . ."

Sam had to intercede. He was the one who had allowed Ruby to be close to them, in their lives. "It was Ruby. I trusted her. . ." Sam felt his brother's hand on his elbow, then a squeeze.

"It was my fault," Dean stated. "We brought her in on the plan and didn't know she and Rose were an item. Seems like she didn't like it too much when we killed Rose off, and Josh was in striking distance."

"And Ruby got away?" Mac asked, but wasn't looking at them. He was looking at the curtain to Joshua's room.

Sam was about to answer, but Dean did instead. "Yes, Sir."

The conversation was curtailed as the attending doctor entered and introduced himself to Mac. He then ushered Mac into Joshua's room.

"Runt, go over there and listen, like you used to do when you were a kid," Caleb said in a low tone.

Dean grinned. "Little narc."

Sam rolled his eyes. When he was a kid, he wasn't 6'4". It was easier to be unnoticeable as a small child. He huffed for a moment, but then did as Caleb requested. As a child he was curious, and as an adult he hadn't lost that part of himself either. It was better to overhear than receive the information second hand.

The doctor was condescending in his answers to Esme's questions, and forthright with Mackland.

When the doctor asked about Joshua's strange branding, Sam thought about barging in with the truth. Esme, however, seemed to have more composure with her soft reply.

"The foolishness of youth."

Joshua was in a coma, and his chances of survival were not good, according to the doctor who knew nothing about what Mac would be willing to do or about witches. Joshua had to survive to prove Ruby wrong. Sam jumped away and lodged himself near the wall when the doctor exited. He didn't know if he was supposed to stay and overhear Mac and Esme talking. He looked up at his brother, who gestured for him to stay put.

"Mackland, they are making assumptions. They’re toying with the idea of what my child is involved in because of circumstances and the people he's around."

Sam didn't know if he was supposed to be insulted. He understood that his brother and Caleb gave off an essence of danger. He didn't think he did. He had always considered himself the part of the trio who was most approachable.

"He's not like that, Esme," Mac reassured. "We know he's an important person. He's a valued member of The Brotherhood."

"He's my son, my beautiful boy." Esme sounded muffled.

"He's going to be fine. When he's stable we'll move him closer to home." Sam heard the reverent hope in Mac's words that came when someone close to Mac was hurt medically. That was a realm the doctor understood completely.

"I hope so. Now while I appreciate the help, I think you should leave." Esme's voice recovered some strength, but Sam was confused, as was Mac.

"Two people are allowed in ICU. We're not breaking any rules."

There was the clicking of shoes behind the curtain, taking Esme away from Mac. "Please don't make this more difficult, Mackland. I need you to understand that I have to concentrate on my son."

Sam was startled, stuffed his hands in his pockets and relieved his post. Caleb greeted him with a frown. "What happened?"

He didn't know if he should tell them. Maybe he had misinterpreted Esme, and if he didn't then maybe Mac could convince her otherwise. He wondered if hope was an acquired emotion for a Scholar or a necessity.

Mac exited, the grim look confirming Sam's fear. There had been another casualty in Rose's battle.

"Dad, what's going on?" Caleb's glanced between Sam and his father.

"She asked for some space," Mac revealed with a heavy sigh.

"Space or space?" Dean gestured with two of his fingers for a small amount and then with both hands for a larger amount.

"We won't be seeing each other. There is no more ‘us’." Mackland closed his eyes for moment. "Perhaps it’s for the best."

"No." Caleb pushed his father. "You need to do something about it — go back in there."

Sam interfered between father and son as the only one who had ever had a moment of normal with a girl. Relationships were complicated; men experienced heartbreak. "It was her decision."

Mac nodded, patted Sam on the back, then reached out to grip his son's forearm. "And I do understand because, maybe I wasn't as straightforward as Esme, but when you needed me, I gave her up."

"When I needed you? When?" Caleb shook the grip off.

"When we thought you had died," Dean answered, and Sam recalled how quiet his brother had become. He had fallen in on himself until Sam had found the solution and they had found Caleb at the Wendigo’s lair. He didn't know why it wasn't so simple now. Where was his solution to save Dean once more?

Mac squared his shoulders and gave them a smile. "I'll be fine. I need to talk to the doctor some more. Carolyn should be here shortly. Perhaps you can escort her?"

The brothers manhandled Caleb out of the ICU. "Look, every relationship has a bump in the road. Josh will wake up, and they'll get back together. You'll have your Brady Bunch, Damien."

Sam kept silent during Dean's pep talk. Mac and Esme’s bump in the road involved two things that were immutable: their sons and The Brotherhood.

"I just want Dad to be happy. Man, he deserves it. I just didn't see this coming. I didn't see a lot of things coming." Caleb wanted to protect them from the unknown, the roads in life that took a sharp turn, which even a psychic couldn't possibly see. Free will would always make Caleb's job difficult.

At the elevator Sam pressed ‘Down’, almost wanting to gurgle at the absurdness of the double meaning. Dean didn't have time, and he would go down to Hell if they couldn't find a way out within two days. The detour to the hospital was costing them precious time. He saw their reflection in the elevator doors, Caleb on one side, Sam on the other. Dean was the center of their world, all that was important.

His guilt returned when Carolyn exited the elevator with a tissue crimpled in her hand. She was surprised to see them, but when she regained her composure it was not a warm greeting. "How is he?" Her voice was thick with emotion.

"He's holding his own," Dean said, but didn't meet Carolyn's eyes. "He's in ICU. It's right down —"

"I think we can manage to find it," said the man who had exited with Carolyn from the elevator. He had kept a distance from her, but his height loomed over them. He was taller than Sam, and although Sam didn't use his height to threaten people, this man took full advantage of it.

"Who the hell are you?" Caleb was in a protective stance with his shoulder next to Carolyn.

Carolyn flinched at the contact and moved to make an introduction. "This is Adam. Esme requested for him to be here. He's Joshua's bodyguard."

"The witch’s union provides bodyguards?"

Adam eyed Dean. "To our valued members, yes."

This time Dean stepped forward. "The Brotherhood will protect him."

Adam looked down at Dean with crossed arms as if he was insignificant at over six feet tall. "He was hurt when he was with you. We take care of our own."

"So you're a witch?" Sam blurted. He hadn't met many witches but used Joshua, Jocelyn, and Esme as his benchmark. Adam was the complete opposite, dark skinned, facial hair, and long dreads pulled back in a band at his neck. This wasn't the image he saw projected by the witches. Adam looked more like a UFC fighter.

He bowed his head. "I'm part of the coven, and Esme Madrigal asked for our help."

"What makes you so qualified?" Caleb jutted his chin. “Besides the freakishly tall chromosome and the steroid use?”

"Caleb." Carolyn's soft brows knitted together. "He's Joshua's friend."

Dean patted Caleb on the chest. Sam recognized it as a signal to back off. They had to respect Esme's wishes. She had suffered enough.

"Did someone contact Harland?" Dean asked.

Carolyn brought the tissue under her nose. "I left him a message and told him his son was injured." She cleared her throat. "Is there anything else?"

Dean shook his head. "No, thanks for calling Harland. Esme's already in with Joshua, but I'm sure he'll like more company."

She turned her back on them, and Adam ignored them, too. Sam, Dean, and Caleb watched as Carolyn and Adam disappeared down the hall.

"Think he'll show?" Sam asked, directing the question to no one. He used to think Harland and John Winchester were similar, but as an adult he’d come to realize that they did what they did out of two different emotions. It was pride versus love.

"I hope so. Maybe Dad can do something to force him to come," Caleb answered. "Despite what he is, he should be here."

"I need some air," Dean announced and hit the bar on the door that opened to the stairwell near the elevator. It was so sudden it left Sam and Caleb stunned and both of them looking to where Dean had only been moments ago.

"What the —"

The door was closing. Sam forcefully pushed it open, chasing after his brother with Caleb by his side. He wondered if Dean had hit his breaking point, and what they could do about it. Dean was only a few stairs ahead of them, taking them two at a time. He exited on the first floor, slowing his pace.

Sam saw blue sky through the glass door and expected his brother to be stepping on the automatic door pad to the freedom of a full breath. Instead Dean hesitated in an open doorway bathed by an unnatural light.

"Hey, Deuce, talk to me?" Caleb reached Dean first, manhandled him off to the side.

"Dean, you're scaring me," Sam admitted. Mac had warned them privately that Dean might have an emotional break as his time drew to a close. He had given Sam some tranquilizers just in case, which were buried in his duffle in the Impala.

"Riley's in there with his mom." Dean moved his neck to indicate the doorway he was standing in.

There was a yearning when Dean said 'mom.' Sam looked in and there they were, another example of a mother and son, what Dean wouldn't have in Hell, another reason to find a way to save Dean. The room was the hospital chapel with a few pews, a cross in the middle, and a larger stained-glass window allowing more light in. The color of the walls was a pale pinkish hue, unlike the rest of the hospital with its vanilla walls. Riley and Kathleen were in the first row huddled together. The Wilmington ranch and all the insanity that had occurred there seemed a million miles away.

"Do you want to say something to them?"

Caleb’s voice was soft, reverent almost. Sam looked to find his brother still watching Kathleen and Riley. Dean shook his head, blinking away moisture as his eyes remained locked on the mother and son.

"I just want to go home."

"What does that mean?” Caleb gave Dean a slight shake, reclaiming his attention. “We still have time. There’s the lead in Arkansas and Rose gave us a tip. The Triad has power we’ve not even begun to tap into. We can do something with that…maybe use your ring. Right, Sammy? Help me out here."

Sam looked from Caleb to the chapel. Kathleen was holding her son, clinging to the only piece she had left of her husband, the precious remains of her family. Sam felt his eyes burn as he watched her stroke Riley’s hair, the younger man's face buried against her chest. Kathleen’s chin rested on her son’s head. Her eyes were closed, but Sam could tell her lips were moving. He could barely make out the murmur of the soft words spoken to comfort Riley, or maybe praying for everyone else.

Sam glanced to his brother, thoughts of their mother flooding his mind. He couldn’t give Dean what he really wanted, but he could allow him the next best thing. Sam was weak in the knees at the feeling of helplessness. There was no way out for Dean. He had accepted his fate, and their persistence was cruel. "Caleb, listen, man, this isn't our call anymore." Dean deserved to have his moment of peace, to feel safe, however briefly.

He felt the other psychic’s protest building, the rush of panic and fear as grim understanding sank in. It was over. Sam remembered feeling the same when Dean was electrocuted, the way the doctor’s words that his brother was terminal had sucker-punched him and sent him windmilling over some invisible cliff. Denial, rage, bargaining: he had spiraled through all the stages of grief in a heartbeat. He refused to back down then, but now he trusted his brother knew best.

"No…" Caleb shook his head, letting go of Dean to take a step back. “This is ridiculous, Dean. We have time.”

Dean shook his head, seeming to shake himself from his trance, too. Sam was relieved as some color once again found its way to his brother's face. "Dude, I’ve spent my whole life on the road. I sure as hell don’t want to die out there in some godforsaken, Podunk town in Arkansas." Dean reached out and gripped Caleb’s arm, stopping him from moving away. "Damien, I’m tired. I just want to be with my family. Can you get that?"

"So we’re just giving up?"

“No.” Dean looked from Caleb to Sam. "We’re just doing things my way."